Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
