i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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