I think my fart just growled at me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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