Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
