I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
