You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
