i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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