woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize