There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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