put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
