I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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