what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
