Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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