I wish they made helmets for livers.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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