You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
