Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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