Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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