Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
