my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
