THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
