Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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