His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
