it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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