Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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