I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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