i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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