I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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