you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
