you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize