Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
