community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
