Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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