It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
