Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do vagina's smell?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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