saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
