she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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