I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
