I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
