Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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