I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
