We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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