So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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