Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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