It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just high enough for therapy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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