Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
