I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
