The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
