I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
