Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was confusing and full of hummus
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And then my night got REAL pukey
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
