Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
