HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize