i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
