You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
