Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
