All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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