why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
