why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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