these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
