i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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