sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
