Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize