I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
