Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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