No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
