New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize