You're my little dorito
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
