I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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