Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
