i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
