Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
