Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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