I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
