Sry I called you an 8
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
