I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
