I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
