I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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