True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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